Hofstra University Honors College's Blog

So today I want to talk about something that seems to be coming up in conversation a lot recently: bisexuality. More so the misconceptions about it.

From my experience, a lot of people (both outside and inside of the LGBTQ community) see bisexuality as something that doesn’t really exist. They see it as either the last stepping stone toward becoming gay, a gay person trying to stay in denial, or a straight person looking for attention or acceptance. Well, I’ve identified as bisexual since eighth grade and I can tell you that none of these are true. Believe it or not, it is possible for someone to be attracted to two genders. Trust me; I’m not the only one.

That’s another thing most people get confused about with bisexuality. Being bisexual doesn’t necessarily mean that you are attracted strictly to males and females. Bisexuality means that you are attracted to two (any two) genders. That’s where the “bi” part comes in. Whether these two genders are cis-males and cis-females, cis-females and trans-men, trans-women and agendered people, etc. etc, it doesn’t matter! If you’re attracted to any two of the many, many genders out there, you are bisexual. Congratulations!

None of this seems so hard to believe right? So then why is it so hard for people to believe it when people say that they’re bi? I have a theory: there’s no stereotype for it. Face it, whether you mean to or not, if you see someone act or dress in a certain way, you’re more inclined to believe that they’re gay, or straight, or trans, or whatever. But there’s no “tell” for a bisexual person. Some of us act straighter, some of us act gayer, and that’s fine. But I’ve found that a lot of people I’ve come out to have reactions like “You sure you’re not straight?” or “Wow! You don’t seem gay.” Yes, I’m sure. And guess what. It’s because I’m not gay. I’m bi. It just so happens that there’s no stereotype for it so anyone who’s not in the loop would never be able to look at me and say “Oh yeah, that’s a bi right there.”

I’m not saying that we need a stereotype for bisexuals. Personally, I’m kind of glad there’s no one way people expect me to act or dress. What I’m saying is, if someone tells you that they’re bisexual, take their word for it and don’t jump to conclusions. Life will be a lot easier if you just believe them and move on. Trust me.

Edit: Just to clarify, I’m talking about physical attraction in this rant. For thoughts on emotional attraction (yes, they are different things) please see comments bellow. Thank you and TTFN!

Comments on: "Bi. Not Confused, Bi" (3)

  1. K' Duarte said:

    Those are some good points, but I’m not sure I’d necessarily differentiate between cis and trans like that; lots of bisexuals are attracted to men and women, regardless of cis or trans status (binary-identified trans* people are, after all, not much different from binary-identified cis people; that is, trans men and cis men are all men). Though you can certainly find bisexual people who are attracted to both men and agender people, or both women and androgynous people, or both agender and genderqueer people, etc.

  2. cdreamer said:

    I see your point and I kind of agree, but although there’s no question that trans-men and cis-men are both men, I find that even if someone falls for a person and their personality and they love this person regardless of their gender identification, the physical attraction is going to be more solidly linked with the gender more obviously seen. Example: someone is in a relationship with a trans-man and loves them and who they are as a person but is physicaly attracted to the female body.

    Probably should have clarified that I was talking about physical attraction, because as far as emotional attraction goes you are 100% right with your comment. If someone responds emotionally to men then whether the man is cis or trans shouldn’t make a difference.

  3. […] Bi, Not Confused, Bi (huhc.wordpress.com) […]

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